Dear Brittany,
Why do you hate us so? You say we're ugly, we say we add "character". You miss your pre baby stomach, we say it was pale and colorless.
Think of it like this... do you like plain, white walls? No. You decorate. Hang a picture or two. And that's exactly what we did to your stomach. So why are you so upset?
Despite your hatred towards us, we've decided to spread to your rear end. All that vast, white space needs something colorful to cover up the cellulite. Trust us, it's better this way.
Love,
Your Stretch Marks
PS. How mad would you be if we "decorated" on your bosoms? Yes? No? We just thought they could use some cheering up. Everyone knows that a "little pink" is the best way to do that.
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