Van Floors

Dear Brittany,

Apparently you didn't get the memo, so we're sending this now. Floors are dirty. Van floors are really dirty. This means anything on a van floor is super dirty.

This being the case, we would like you to explain to us why the single Pez candy underneath the seats on your van floor looked so appetizing to you? This is sick.

Although we applaud you on refraining from actually eating the candy, we are slightly concerned with how much you thought about eating it.

Oh yes, we heard your thoughts. "If I wipe off those 3 hairs stuck to it it'll be just fine." "So what if there's some extra surprises with the candy... germs are good for you. Builds up your immune system." We know you thought about that candy the whole ride in and back. And in bed last night at 1 Am.

For your safety we would recommend having your husband go out to the van and disposing of that Pez as soon as possible. We're not sure if you can survive this kind of temptation 2 days in a row.

Love,
Your Dirty Van Floors

PS. Maybe you should just stop dieting. Your level of hunger is slightly distubring.