Monday, February 15, 2010

Finger Fat

Dear Fingers,

You have completely betrayed me. I thought we were friends. Guess I thought wrong.

For five years I've watched my body go down hill. My stomach started sagging, my breasts quit being perky, my thighs belong on a water buffalo and my butt could be used as a serving tray. But you... you held out. For five years you stayed thin, beautiful and fat-less.

Until now. Suddenly you jump on the bandwagon and get fat. Why?

My wedding ring now feels like a tourniquet. I finally got it off after a bottle of baby lotion and a whole lot of grunting and moaning. I now have a permanant indention in my ring finger. Is this really necessary?

Love,
Brittany

PS.. Thanks a lot fat lovers. You'll see it's not all it's cracked up to be.

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