Calorie Holidays

Dear Brittany,

This letter is to inform you that your request to have your calories take the following holidays off was officially denied:

Thanksgiving
Your Birthday
Earth Day
Super Bowl Sunday
Flag Day
Fourth of July
Easter
Valentine's Day
Your children's birthdays
Leap Year
New Year's
Halloween
Canada Day
Kwanzaa
Columbus Day
Martin Luther King Day
Election Years
And last but not least....
The entire Holiday season starting Nov. 1st and extending till Jan. 2nd.

We apologize for any inconvenience but we are not at the time able to "rest" or "take a holiday".

Love,
Your calories

PS. Just to make sure there's no confusion, we are not at this time able to raise the allowed daily amount for calorie intake. It is still 2,000. And that's all day. Not per burrito.