Cleavage

Dear Brittany,

This letter is to inform you that your breasts are not a collection site for the hungry. When eating please do try to avoid dropping half your lunch into our cleavage. Imagine for a moment if you will.. how miserable it is having mounds of sandwich crumbs encased between your sensitive parts. It's no party. We'll say that much!

Additionally... we are very much in favor of you giving up ice cream. I assume you know why.

Ever heard of a napkin? It would save us a lot of grief.

Love,
Your Breasts
In care of Your cleavage


PS. This is your final notice. We gave the 1st two notices to your muffin top when we dropped by. Apparently she didn't pass the message along.