Mom Jeans

Dear Brittany,

We hear your old jeans aren't working for you anymore. We also heard that skinny jeans didn't make the cut. So here we are... ready to apply for the job of being your jeans.

Just think of all the good times we could have while I flatten your rear end, give you camel toe and caress your ankles.

You'd be curling your bangs and wearing decorated holiday vests in no time. Bet you would barely remember that all of that is not cool.

We didn't plan on coming around until your mid thirties. But you're the one who popped out two kids and porked out in your early twenties. Don't blame us. You did this to yourself.

When you're ready for us just come pick us up. We're in your Mom's closet. Right next to her BUM sweatshirts and basket of scrunchies.

Love,
Mom Jeans

PS. It's been told that Mom jeans give you super powers. Tempted Yet?